Cravings- Have you ever had such a craving that you felt it controlled you? An addiction that made you want something so bad that you would lie for, put before your family time, and even give up an other luxuries for? My addiction was minor, not illegal. But I had smoked for 22 years. On January 1, 2012, I went smoke free. After 22 years of smoking and several attempts at quiting, once and for all, I was going to be done with smoking.
The first few days were hard, very hard. I am such an immediate gratification person. If I ever wanted something, I got it, or worked harder so I could have it. My body was wanting nicotine, my mind saying "No", and what a struggle. I was cranky, unbearable at times (just ask my husband), but survived. My mouth would water from the cravings. Somehow over time it had become a huge part of my life. It was my time to relax, and have "me" time. After a meal, smoking was the dessert. Break time at work was associated with smoking.
Driving about undid me. I don't drive long distances on a regular basis, since daycare, school and work is within a 1 1/2 mile radius. And I never smoked with my kids in the car, so that wasn't an issue. This past weekend I drove 3 hours alone. I had some straws to chew on, sugar free candy handy, but I still felt that I wanted to smoke. The other thing I have noticed is the car is too quiet. After so many years of keeping the window rolled down, you miss the noise. I still drive with the windows cracked, always keep my straws and candy handy.
One warm, pretty afternoon about mid January, my son showed me just how much of a part of not only my life it was, but how much a part of my families life my addiction had become. "Mom, would you come outside and smoke, and watch Kamryn and I on the trampoline?" That one statement made me take a step back. He was not asking me to go play on the trampoline. I had taught him to associate me watching him outside while I smoked. I explained that mommy no longer smoked, but I would love to go outside and play on the trampoline with them. Something I would have not done before I lost 50 pounds either. WOW, what a day for revelations. I always thought I was a good mom. I may have been a good mom, but not an active mom. Now I can honestly say I am the best and most active mom I can be.
Which brings me to the second part of stopping smoking.
Weight Gain- Thru some research I had learned that the average weight gain is about 25 pounds. One friend told me you could gain 7-8 pound just in rehydrate your organs. Since I had struggled so hard to lose 50 pounds, I was concerned. I weighed every couple of days, found healthy recipes using bananas and applesauce instead of sugar to make snacks. I have committed to still getting up at 5 am, but instead sitting on the deck smoking, I am getting on the tread mill or doing an exercise dvd. I do not like exercise. No form of exercise. I clock 2000 steps most days on my pedometer at work. Who wants to come home and walk more? NOT ME. I can say, I am not learning to like exercise, but still doing it. I am committed to 3-4 mornings a week minimum of 30 minutes, max 1 hour. I have put a few pounds on this month. I am not out of control eating, or having cake and brownies.
Today I am smoke free 31 days, and am determined to get back down to my goal weight of 135. First Fitness Nutrition just released a new herbal diet pill XANOLEAN. Today is my first day on xanolean, following the meal plan, and committing to losing the few pounds I have gained, being smoke free and exercising.
Who will hold me accountable?
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