Starting Over

Cravings- Have you ever had such a craving that you felt it controlled you? An addiction that made you want something so bad that you would lie for, put before your family time, and even give up an other luxuries for? My addiction was minor, not illegal. But I had smoked for 22 years. On January 1, 2012, I went smoke free.  After 22 years of smoking and several attempts at quiting, once and for all, I was going to be done with smoking.
The first few days were hard, very hard.  I am such an immediate gratification person. If I ever wanted something, I got it, or worked harder so I could have it.  My body was wanting nicotine, my mind saying "No", and what a struggle.  I was cranky, unbearable at times (just ask my husband), but survived.  My mouth would water from the cravings.  Somehow over time it had become a huge part of my life.  It was my time to relax, and have "me" time.  After a meal, smoking was the dessert.  Break time at work was associated with smoking.     
Driving about undid me.  I don't drive long distances on a regular basis, since daycare, school and work is within a 1 1/2 mile radius.  And I never smoked with my kids in the car, so that wasn't an issue.  This past weekend I drove 3 hours alone.  I had some straws to chew on, sugar free candy handy, but I still felt that I wanted to smoke.  The other thing I have noticed is the car is too quiet.  After so many years of keeping the window rolled down, you miss the noise.  I still drive with the windows cracked, always keep my straws and candy handy.
One warm, pretty afternoon about mid January, my son showed me just how much of a part of not only my life it was, but how much a part of my families life my addiction had become.  "Mom, would you come outside and smoke, and watch Kamryn and I on the trampoline?"  That one statement made me take a step back.  He was not asking me to go play on the trampoline.  I had taught him to associate me watching him outside while I smoked.  I explained that mommy no longer smoked, but I would love to go outside and play on the trampoline with them.  Something I would have not done before I lost 50 pounds either.  WOW, what a day for revelations.  I always thought I was a good mom.  I may have been a good mom, but not an active mom.  Now I can honestly say I am the best and most active mom I can be.
Which brings me to the second part of stopping smoking.
Weight Gain-  Thru some research I had learned that the average weight gain is about 25 pounds.  One friend told me you could gain 7-8 pound just in rehydrate your organs.  Since I had struggled so hard to lose 50 pounds, I was concerned.  I weighed every couple of days, found healthy recipes using bananas and applesauce instead of sugar to make snacks.  I have committed to still getting up at 5 am, but instead sitting on the deck smoking, I am getting on the tread mill or doing an exercise dvd.  I do not like exercise.  No form of exercise.  I clock 2000 steps most days on my pedometer at work.  Who wants to come home and walk more?  NOT ME.  I can say, I am not learning to like exercise, but still doing it.  I am committed to 3-4  mornings a week minimum of 30 minutes, max 1 hour.  I have put a few pounds on this month.  I am not out of control eating, or having cake and brownies. 
Today I am smoke free 31 days, and am determined to get back down to my goal weight of 135.  First Fitness Nutrition just released a new herbal diet pill XANOLEAN.  Today is my first day on xanolean, following the meal plan, and committing to losing the few pounds I have gained, being smoke free and exercising.
Who will hold me accountable?

Learning to say "NO"

Learning to say "no" has been my biggest challenge.  Are you an approval addict, who craves the approval of others? The "caregiver" who takes care of everyone and everything?  Do you give so much to everyone that you have nothing left for yourself? Do you work full time, take care of your children, spouse, other family members, and fall on the couch exhausted at the end of the day dreading starting over tomorrow?  I did.  I wanted to please everyone, take care of everyone, and need the approval that that came with doing that.  I am learning to say "No", and have learned that it is not hurting anyone, or not disappointing anyone.  Do you need one night a month to go have dinner with your best girlfriend?  Take the time. Do something for you.  In one night, your house will not fall apart, your kids will welcome you you home, and you will feel so much better for the time you took for you.  Or is it that you do not have the money to join a gym, or buy diet products or even fresh fruits and vegetables?  I can remember after being on Suddenly slim for 14 days, looking at my husband and saying, "What do we (as a family) need to do without next month so I can stay on my diet program?"  I remember seeing the stunned expression on his face, and his lack of a response.  I felt that good after just 14 days, that I was willing to say no to luxury expenses of buying lunch everyday, eating out as a family once a week, couponing to save on our household basics, just to keep myself on Suddenly Slim.  Eventually he responded "You need to start selling First Fitness, atleast enough to pay for the products you use."  So I packed my lunch most days, learned that I could save a minimum of $20 a week using coupons, get my fruit and veggies on sale, and went public on FaceBook that I was changing my life, adopting a healthy lifestyle, and losing weight.  Those first few BEFORE pictures were painful.  Was that really me at 185 pounds? 
Is there not enough time in the day?  Are you struggling to add in 30 minutes of walking or excercise?  That was always my excuse.  I was not willing to take the time.  But as I said, it was my excuse.  My reality was, I do not like to excercise.  I still do not like to excercise.  But I have learned that if I want to stay at 135 pounds and be healthy, I need to excercise.  I still get up at 5am, just like always.  But now I spend my first 30-45 minutes 3-4 days a week on excercise.  Do I like to excersice now?  No, but do I need to, YES.  I watch my favorite show that I DVRed while walking on the treadmill. The best part is, that I have it done and can spend the rest of my day not dreading it.  If you feel that there is just not enough time in your day, evaluate.  Keep a journal for a few days, see how you spend your time.  Could you watch your favorite TV show while walking on the treadmill?  If you have small children like I do, spend 30 challenging them to Wii Dance.  If its nice outside, take them for a walk, bikeride, or my new favorite is to spend 30 minutes on the trampoline with them.  Every minute you devote to you will help you to be a better mom, spouse, coworker, and enable you to give more to those in your life.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year and Welcome to 2012.
Have you made your 2012 resolution?  Did you resolve to lose weight?  How many times have you started a "diet", only to lose weight, and eventually gain it back?  One thing I have learned thru my weight loss journey is: weight loss is not a diet, it is a choice to live a healthy lifestyle.  There is no quick fix, or a diet pill that lets you eat fried chicken, cake, or drink 5 sodas a day.  To lose weight and maintain your weight lose, you have to chose a different life style.
 Are you ready for a lifestyle change?
 Are you ready to lose weight, get healthy and feel great?

Thankful for the little things

November is over, and the Christmas season is in full swing at work.  As I reflect on all the things I am thankful for, I realize the big things have shaped me, but the little things have defined me.  Ty and I got married in Feb 2004. Our first thanksgiving together, I was on bed rest with pre-eclaptia with Corbin.  Our 2nd thanksgiving Ty had just had his first surgery for Malignant Melanoma.  We spent part of thanksgiving week at MD Anderson seeking a second opinion on treatment.  Our 3rd Thanksgiving he was almost Thu he 52 week treatment of interferon, but still pretty sick and detached from Corbin and I.  Other than the birth of Kamryn 3 years ago, our thanksgivings have been pretty quiet and normal.  I am thankful for those first rough years of my marriage, it helps me to be thankful for the quiet times, my family, my precious children, my husband, and our life. 
Kamryn turns 3 on December 14, and Corbin 7 on December 21.  As my children grow and develop in their own personalities, I am realizing what it means to be almost 40, and keeping up with 2 active children,  Each day I thank God for Penny and Bryan Fox for helping me choose a healthier lifestyle.  The "diet" p;program I have been on is so much more than that.  There is no magic skinny pill, drink, or procedure.  It s a lifestyle change to eating healthier, and providing my body with the nutrients to fuel it and keep it going thru the day. 

Preparing for the holidays

I thought I would post a few holiday recipes I have found.  The biggest challenge thru this process of changing my lifestyle is getting creative with foods, flavors and spices.  This would be a easy dish to take to any holiday meal:

Skinny Green Beans, Southern Style

Prep Time: 10 minutes

Cook Time: 8 hours

Total Time: 8 hours, 10 minutes

Yield: 16

Serving Size: 1/2 cup

Calories per serving: 37

Fat per serving: 1

Skinny Green Beans, Southern Style (Makes 16 servings) Minimum Crock Pot Size: 5 quarts Nutritional Content 1 serving = 1/2 cup

Calories: 37 Total Fat: 1 gm Saturated Fats: 0 gm Trans Fats: 0 gm Cholesterol: 0 mg Sodium: 101 mg Carbohydrates: 6 gm Dietary fiber: 2 gm Sugars: 1 gm Protein: 2 gm

Nutritional Information estimated at Nutritiondata.com

Ingredients

• 2 tablespoons Extra Virgin Olive Oil
• 1 yellow onion, diced
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 tablespoon fresh basil, finely chopped
• 1 tablespoon fresh (flat leaf) parsley, finely chopped
• 1 teaspoon black pepper
• 2 pounds fresh or frozen snap green beans, rinsed
• 1 medium potato, peeled, diced (I didn't add the potato)
• 3 cups water
• Salt to taste (I used sea salt)

Directions

1. In a medium skillet saute onion and garlic on medium-low heat until tender, about 4 minutes. Add sauted onion and garlic along with all other ingredients to the crock pot.
2. Cover and cook on low 8 hours. Cooking time may vary depending on how tender you like your green beans.

ADAPTING

I was so excited when I hit 30 days.  I spent 1/2 a day cleaning out my closet.  No longer did size 14 fit me.  Luckily I had saved varying sizes over the years. I was now in a size 12, had moved a few notches on my belt.  I was not only feeling better, but those size 14 were going, to never come back.  Kamryn had started to want tomatoes, cucumbers, and anything her mommy was eating.  I was left thinking, "Is this just a stage because that is what mommy is doing?" 
I was learning that on girls night out, we could still meet and eat at Lettie's.  I would sustain from chips and cheese dip.  A taco salad, no cheese or shell, but with about 2 tablespoons of guacamole would satisfy my Mexican craving.  When Corbin wanted his favorite meal of hamburger helper, I would make a chicken stir-fry for me.
Chicken Stir-Fry
6-8 oz lean chicken breast, sliced thin
3 tablespoons, Kraft Lite Asian Sesame Salad Dressing
2 tablespoons water
Sliced onions, water chestnuts, mushrooms, snow peas and broccoli.
Stir fry meat, using salad dressing + water as your sauce, til meat is done and adding veggies until you reach desired doneness.

One more pan to go in the dishwasher was no big deal.  I now always keep baggies of sliced meat in the freezer for a quick and easy stir-fry.  I have learned to up the meat and veggie quantities, Kamryn would rather have stir-fry with lots of broccoli, that hamburger helper. 

She snagged my cucumber off the cabinet before I could even get is cut up.  Needless to say she ate the whole thing and 2 tomatoes.  I love that baby girl.

On July 7, 2011 I started the suddenly slim program from First Fitness Nutrition.  The program consist of an herbal diet pill, a colon clense, meal replacements shakes, and a menu plan.  The first day when i weighted and measured it was seriously a reality check for me.  Thru the first 30 days I started to feel better.  I had some major cravings for SUGAR.  Befor starting the plan I was consuming 5-6 cans of DrPepper a day, cookies, and not just a 2 or 3 with a huge glass of milk every night.  But I could tell that my body was changing, not ony physically, but from the inside out.  I had more energy.  The first 30 days I lost 17 pounds and 12 inches. 
What I learned those first 30 days:
*I was living my life dehydrated.  You should always drink 6-8 glasses of plain water a day.
*Sugar was fueling my highs and lows.  I would snack on high sugar items, feel good, then hit a low, crave more sugar, or carbs, or even another soda.  Then continue thru the cycle of highs and lows from eating sugar, crashing, craving sugar, and on and on.
*Eating healthy does not mean you need to eat a salad at every meal.  You learn to intigrate veggies in your everday life.  You learn to substitute carbs for veggies.  Who knew that spaghetti squash could be just as good as noodles with your spaghetti sauce, or that you gould sslice eggplant thin and use to make lasagna?  Definately not me. 
*I learned to plan.  I now take the time to plan our meals, and shop for the week.  I clean and prep all the veggies and fruit I buy.
*I also learned that I am only human.  Pizza and Olive Garden are still 2 of my favorite meals.  I've just learned moderation.  A big salad from the salad bar, and one slice on pizza are as satisfying as 1/2 a large pizza.  Olive Garden is still the place we eat at when we go to UAMS to see my husbands oncologist, and he gets a clean bill of health.  But now I settle for 1 bread stick, and 1/2 a normal portion of pasta, with lots of salad (dressing on the side). 

Dieting was always a way to lose weight.  But I always gained it back.  First Fitness Nutrition has taught me a lifestyle change that I will forgever be greatful for.